Festive Travel Planner Gifts

'I couldn't get liability insurance for my sled.'

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Mr. Punch in Venice

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

Italia tours

"I just..."

Heading off with a packed bag

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.