Festive Family Planner Gifts

'Children's advent calendar.'

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Mr. Punch in Venice

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

'Let it go, Amy.'

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

'If that's my wife, pencil her in for Boxing Day.'

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'