Festive Sleuth Pillows

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

Undercover Santa

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

A Creature WAS Stirring

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

"I'm more concerned about the two bowlfuls of jelly you apparently sit on the rest of the year."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"The garbage cans were hung by the chimney with care..."

Santa reads book: The Joy of Sacks.

"Christmas parties aren't nearly as much fun since we started teleworking. . ."

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

Net Zero Superstitions

"A nutcracker!! Hey...this thing looks used."

'Skip the meal more room for dessert!'

There's always one idiot at the staff Christmas party who goes too far. If you work for yourself, that would be you.

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

"Claus Trophobia"

An Ottawa Christmas

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

About Santa 2017.

"98...99...100 - coming, ready or not!"

"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixon..."

'I'm calling you a cab.'

When dogs do a Secret Santa.