Festive Problem-solver Pillows

'Thank goodness I remembered to bring those spares!'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

'No cuts in Medicare!'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Christmas Group Therapy.

Salesman in a Santa suit

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

"No, I'm not here to tell you you're off my naughty list for hacking. I just need to borrow your phone charger."

"...Won't be a minute darling, I'm just downloading Christmas."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

Christmas in Space

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

'Drone Santa.'

Congregation

"Hope you have got a good retirement plan, old man?"

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"How married are you to 'Merry Christmas' in the title?"

'I thought we'd go for a digital tree this year.'

Carolling

'You would think that he would have come up with a wireless solution for Rudolph's nose by now!'

'That reminds me, we need more bandwidth.'

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"