Festive Meal Enthusiasts Pillows

"Look, I don't want your whole damn life story!"

Night of the Latkes

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Stuffing the turkey.

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Happy St Pancakes Day

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Turkey Autopsy

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

Hot Chestnuts

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"Never say you're stuffed!"