Festive Loners Club Gifts

Christmas party for the home worker

ONE HORSE TOWN

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Drinking Companions

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

Ice skating boyfriends

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Pucker up!

Snub Marine

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

Xmas

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

'This next song's for anyone who's feeling a little lonely right now.'

'I had a very lonely childhood. I was an only twin.'

Slippery underfoot

Hunters And Gatherers Without Partners.

'He knows if you've been good or bad - based on how many friends and followers you have.'

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'

For further information dial 1-800-ho-ho-ho.

Christmas during a pandemic.

'Looks like Harvey's entered his holiday mode.'

'Oh, it's from my new pen pal on the other island.'

'I find I'm talking to myself a lot these days.'