Festive Indulger Pillows

I'm taking you off the milk and cookies diet.

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Christmas Tree

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa does a keg stand.

Snowman

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

The New Year's Dance

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

Roscoe's Great Escape

'Red for me, please.'

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

"The cookies are always stale."

Christmas Dwarves

The Devil's advocaat.

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

"God, I miss the old days!"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

December Fest

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

Balloon ski lift

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

The night after Christmas.

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"I am in training for the sales."