Festive Humor Collector Pillows

"It's always painful to learn the truth about Santa."

Tourists and their Pets.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

The First Black Friday

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

Have A Whale Of A Christmas

Cold Callers!

Vaccine Reindeer

"I'm confused. We were trained to do our business outside, but then they bring in a tree that glows."

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

"You think your job is hard? I have to remember which date Easter falls on each year."

Free Chimney Cleaning.

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."

"No, that's not mine. Do you have one with a big red nose?"

"It doesn't feel like Christmas. So, I'm drinking until it does."

'Happy Xmas!'

"I smell carrots."