Festive Health Fanatic Gifts

"Open wide and say, Fa La La Ahhh."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Night of the Latkes

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Yo ho ho!

"Anything but milk and cookies."

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'And that,and that,and that...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."