Festive Health Fanatic T-Shirts

"Open wide and say, Fa La La Ahhh."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Night of the Latkes

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Panettone

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Yo ho ho!

"Anything but milk and cookies."

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."