Festive Health Guru T-Shirts

Santa asks man if cholesterol is naught or nice.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Night of the Latkes

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Panettone

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

National Academy of Sport

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Keep Fit.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Congratulations on the new you!

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'