Festive Health Guru Pillows

Santa asks man if cholesterol is naught or nice.

Self help acupuncture

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Night of the Latkes

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

Panettone

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

National Academy of Sport

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Keep Fit.

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Congratulations on the new you!

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System