Festive Food Fan Pillows

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Night of the Latkes

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Is the garbage fresh?"

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

Happy St Pancakes Day

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

Turkey Autopsy

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."