Festive Food Fan Gifts

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Night of the Latkes

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Panettone

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Is the garbage fresh?"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Happy St Pancakes Day

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.