Festive Finance Observer Gifts

Christmas shopping empties a shopper's pocket.

Tree in Dollar Shape.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

There IS a Santa Claus.

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

Records Dept. Tell them I don't use my knowledge of who's naughty or nice to make political endorsements.

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

"Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away."

"An aluminum baseball bat? Are you kidding? With the tariffs, my raw material costs are up 25%. How about some soybeans?"

"I'm the ghost of christmas past due."

The Bankrupts' Christmas Tree

Financial Christmas

'We've drunk a Christmas toast to my portfolio, now let's drink a Christmas toast to your portfolio.'

"If you ask em this figure for cost of goods given is a little low."

"Oh dear, Mr. Kringle. I fear we may have to put you on our naughty list."

"A local retail survey shows holiday sales were flat...but the consumer cash meter hit an all-time high...while the holiday confidence index took a three-point dip."

"Nothing under me this year. We must social distance."

'Now there's a perfect example of something that's not cost effective. Fire him!'

"Trick or Treat - sorry, cash only."

Santander Bank pays out cash by mistake on Christmas Day

"I think I found something in our price range!"