Festive Family Conflict Navigator T-Shirts

"You're a veteran? In which wars did you serve?"

"Wheeeeeeee!"

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'I'll fix the problem... you fix the blame.'

Then out in the yard, there arose such a grito that I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

The Big Tree

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"What a cute little spot for us to eventually get into a fight in!"

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

'Busting balls since 1983.'

'I think the problem is, Lydia, you're a man-hater and Robert, you're a woman-hater, and I can't stand either one of you.'

'How come I never see you in church?'

Santa in 'A Christmas Box'

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

"How did his last remark make you feel?"

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"Thanks for the super pirate ship, Mum."

'When the going gets tough, the tough SUE.'

Governor of the Bank of England outfit

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

"I'm sorry, Tom... but you don't Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if it only when you're going to see your inlaws."