Festive Fairy Fandangoer Gifts

'Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year' Drunk angel

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Your repayments start now!"

'And that,and that,and that...'

The other days of the year...

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

A Christmas tree self portrait

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

Snowman carrot substitute.

Great Moment in North Pole History

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

'It looks like Reindeer!!'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

C is for Cracker