Festive Card Writer Pillows

'I hate writing Christmas cards. . . It's all 'Dear so and so. . . Happy Christmas. . . blah, blah, blah. . . maybe I should write people's names in the card to give it more a 'personal touch?''

Santa Claus's Mail

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'I've lost my mojo, Marjorie.'

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Christmas Flights

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"It appears that it's a Christmas card from another GOP House member..."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

'Sometimes Rudolph, I can't help but feel Christmas is getting too complicated!'

Christmas escape plan

"Wow, the literary life is exhausting! Just when I finish 'What I Did On My Summer Vacation,' I need to begin my 'What I Want For Christmas' list!"

I brake for Jetliners.

'Moon Jumper One, you are entering restricted Christmas airspace. ABORT!;

"It's going to be tight making all of these 873 connecting flights tonight."

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

Roses are occasionally red. Violets are violet not blue. I'm a pedant. So there!

Post early for Christmas 2010.

"I guess he IS telling the truth.... Well, Merry Christmas, Santa! Have a good flight."

'What are you doing here? It's only November.'

Halloween next exit. . . Thanksgiving, 27 days. . . Christmas, 54 days.

Santa's Flies Safe

"What the...a swarm of Christmas air-mail parcels?! Pull her up, Larry! Pull her up!!"

'... and last, but not least, a big Christmas bonus for Daddy to make sure I get what I want.'

"Flight 570 reports its starboard engines sucked in Dasher and Dancer and the port intakes just got Donner and Blitzen!"

'Do you have one for a greetings card writer whose job was outsourced?'

"The holiday season always puts me in the mood to plan a tropical vacation."