Festive Attire Enthusiast Gifts

'Aside from the fact that you're green with envy, you're not wearing any green.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Yo ho ho!

Christmas sweater alternatives

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Merry Kissmas

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

Poinsettia

December Fest

Santa Claus

'I wrapped it myself !'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

Christmas fairy.

'Harold, wake up, you're supposed to be the tooth fairy tonight.'

'-and for fifty years undying loyalty to the company...'

Joey really wanted a Christmas Tree this year...

A bit pre festive isn't it?

"You'll notice it's the same list as last year. Let's try a little harder this time."