Festival Foodie Gifts

'Tastes like rubber chicken.'

'Every crowd has a silver lining!'

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.

'Pardon the expression, but I'm stuffed.'

Happy St Pancakes Day!

Flight Crew Holiday Treats

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You do like octopus?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What the Doctor Ordered

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

La Table

6 Brothers Falafel

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'