Fertility Conversation Starters Pillows

'In vitro fertilization and sperm banks. I remember the old days when you couldn't outsource having kids.'

'Forget it - I knew a guy who went there once and he got slapped with 387 paternity suits.'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Three Parent Baby

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

Science and mothers day

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'

'It's not about winning, it's about having fun!'

"Great news! Your sperm count is dangerously low!"

"Really. I'll just come in for a minute."

Minority Group Access To Assisted Reproduction.

Maternity Ward 'Push, Push, Push' and the Sperm Bank Door 'Pull, Pull, Pull'.

IVF Slut

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"That's right, fifty pounds and the pick of the litter."

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

'Wait a minute, this prescription is for a dozen oysters and half an ounce of powdered rhino horn!'

"I'm thinking about freezing my eggs."

"I'm not sure about children, but I've always wanted progeny."

'I hear his mum has gone right off those Fertility drugs.'

Cerne Abbas

"I won't have kids until gay men are able to give birth in every state."

Proud parents of the first test tube moustache.

"I'm just hoping to make it to the Final Four."

surrogates Mothers Association (wombs to let)