Fertility Awareness Pillows

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

IVF assessment centre.

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Three Parent Baby

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

Fertility Center.

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

Science and mothers day

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

'How do you like your eggs, - inseminated, frozen or sunny side up?'

"Great news! Your sperm count is dangerously low!"

'Sperm Donor Whale.'