Fertility Consultation Pillows

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Three Parent Baby

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Fertility Center.

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Science and mothers day

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'

"Great news! Your sperm count is dangerously low!"