Fence Talker T-Shirts

Desert Island Gossipping

"I don't know what's worse - my restless feet or her restless mouth!"

'She's losing it-that was LAST week's gossip!'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

THe UDDER Side

Dog Training.

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

Dogs texting each other emojis

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Dog got your clog?'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

"So, sniffed any interesting butts lately?"

'Does my tail make me look fat?'

"I actually know more commands than I respond to."

Avoid Constant Borrowing

The Neighbours from Hell....

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

"I can actually hear you thinking about food."

'Up until now I thought all your questions were rhetorical.'

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

'Daddy says 'meow'.'

'Every friend is a potential security breach.'

"What do you think of the new feed?"

Say bananas. Why? Just say it. Are you chicken? Oh, fine. Bananas. Pets understand more than we think. Can't … breathe …

'Are you accusing my dog of identity theft?'

"I have to go out for a few hours, and don't give me any attitude about it."

'Every year it's the same thing. I resolve to lose a ton and you say you're going to control your anger.'

'Is it true what they say'