Feminist Storyteller Gifts

"Why is it called History. Is it becasue they didn't believe her story?"

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Swan Fairy Tales

J. R. R. Tolkien

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Kirsten Johnson

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Baby Bear.

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Santa's Helpers

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

My Spam Sketchbook

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.