Feline Humor Aficionados Gifts

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Romulus and Remus

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"She's all over YouTube."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Cat Lover's Leap.

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Great mouser!

'It all started when she started playing with the ball of yarn.'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

"Give me a minute—I'm working on my core."

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

Kitty Litter

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"Marcia, how many lives do I have left?"

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."

"If you fits, you sits!"

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

"We like your business plan."

"So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds."

"'Meow' and 'Purr'? It isn't clever and it isn't funny."

'It's true that sensitive documents were destroyed, but only because I needed to sharpen my claws.'

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

"Wow! With this new device, now I can finally hear what you're thinking!"