Feline Humor Aficionados Gifts

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Romulus and Remus

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"She's all over YouTube."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

Hell No Kitty

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

'I hate surprises!'

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Great mouser!

'It all started when she started playing with the ball of yarn.'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

Kitty Litter

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

"Give me a minute—I'm working on my core."

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

'Mr Reynolds, you can't count your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"Marcia, how many lives do I have left?"

"We like your business plan."

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

"If you fits, you sits!"

"Well, if you find it more comfortable, just call it 'cat bath'."

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

"Wow! With this new device, now I can finally hear what you're thinking!"

"So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds."

'It's true that sensitive documents were destroyed, but only because I needed to sharpen my claws.'

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'