Feelings Detective T-Shirts

'Now read that back to me.'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"I'm not happy."

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

Hipster Police Department

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"It's not what you think."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"My aloofness is a mask."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."

"Your empathy is making it hard to breathe."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"He wouldn't let me in, he wouldn't let me stay, he wouldn't let me out."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."