Federal Reserve Fanboys Gifts

Born to raise interest rates.

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

That might not work, EU...

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Overdraft limit.

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'Our customers don't want mutual funds that are an 'eclectic mix'.'

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

ECONOMICS 101, 'Everybody out! -- This class has been canceled by order of the Federal Government!'

Fat Cat & Accountant - 'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'OF COURSE we're still lending! What do you need? Comb? Razor? Toothbrush?'

'Pingree FUNDS, inc'

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'