Fearless Joker Pillows

Stamp out bubble wrap.

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

"It's a complicated time for needle phobics."

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"Are there sharks in the water?"

Adult Absence Notes.

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

'I don't think my parents are ready for me to come out of the closet just yet.'

Hiker's right of way.

Jesus falling over a wave.

"... and you've had this irrational fear that evil clowns were hiding under your bed since you were how old?"

'Don't be afraid!...Bobo's just going to fix the teeth a little tighter.'

'Don't worry, he's very friendly.'

It's not that I cheat or read faces: I'm good at poker because I can smell fear...

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."