Fearless Germaphobe Pillows

Being an extreme germaphobe, Philip tended tended to startle people when he met them.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Wash your hands

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"The penicillin looks good."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"Aways the victim."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."