Father-son Relationship Pillows

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Chez Nous Menu

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

'Mom, Dad just got a nibble.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Remote controlled car on a boat.

"You don't need a duck call. I can just download this Find-a-Fowl app."

Mother CareBaby Gap

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

Toys in the DVD Player.

"He looks just like your husband."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

'That's my boy...'

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

"Still won't talk. We've tried everything aside from sodium pentothal."

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'Who gets up when the babies cries at night? The whole street!'

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.