Father Fascinated By Medieval Times Pillows

'I'm commuting your sentence - We'll still cut your head off, but we won't carry it around on a pike.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Knight feeding his kids.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

TV jester.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Joust Sharpener

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"What the hell took so long?"

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

The Beard in the Stone

Knights of the bedside table.

underwater knight

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."