Medieval Aficionado Pillows

Medieval Social Distancing

'We just have to hope and pray they don't go around the side!'

'I'm in a chat room with one oof the guys in the castle... he's really quite nice.'

'Great invention, Rex! What are you going to call it?'

'Mind filling out this evaluation form first?'

'Shall we start with some stretching exercises?'

'Tell me your innermost feelings!'

"Don't give me this stupid 'Renaissance' stuff! - The Middle Ages were good enough for my father and they're good enough for me!"

King Henry IV

'Cut off his head, but be compassionate about it.'

'You've got to pick battles you can WIN!'

"There wasn't any unemployment back when we had FEUDALISM!"

William II

'OK, OK, I'm coming, I'm coming...'

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

King Edward IV

'Did anyone think to measure this thing?'

"Frankly, it's no better or worse than any other form of government."

"I know you're hurting. We're all hurting."

A medieval knight eats his lunch with armored lunch gear.

Man being led to gallows sees hanging basket, saying: 'Nice touch.'

"Owning to an unforeseen dip in the fiefdom's population, we regret that we must once again raise taxes."

"Last chance - take back what you said about my wife."

"I've asked you not to use the siege tower to meet women."

"Someday man will find a peaceful use for my machines."

'Instead of a knighthood, Sire, could I just have the money instead?'

"I'm going to lower taxes to stimulate the economy and lop off a few heads because I dawn well feel like it."

Knight walking his dog.

'NO, NO, NO! Thumb screws first THEN the rack.' 'Sorry about the delay. 'Creative differences.''

"Well, what's it to be then - hung, drawn and quartered or say you are sorry?"

"I'm upgrading our entertainment center."

Black plague swab testing

"Welcome to your new home Sire. There isn't an enemy in the land that will penetrate these three foot thick stone walls."

Drone Falconer

'It appears the Jarl of Orkney did not hold with the impromptu appearance of our trade delegation.'