Fate Fan Pillows

"It's curious. No matter how hard I try, I can't find your life line."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Eat my dust!"

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

"I see you on a beach..."

"Who's there?"

Your Palm

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

Meet Thy Doom

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

The tortoise and hare

Child puts his finger in a dam to prevent it flooding.

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

'IT'S NOT YOU!'

The tortoise and the hare - Aesop's fables.

'What a twist of fate!'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'