Fat Tuesday Gifts

Is that pancake ready yet?

Drinking hurricanes in New Orleans

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

The Nihilist Deli.

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

Just Because it's Tuesday

February

The invisible man makes a pancake

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

'Breaking news, an E.U. directive is moving pancake Tuesday to Thursday...'

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

"Do you ever get that 'Monday morning' feeling?"

Today is "twosday": Tuesday 2-22-22! To celebrate, this twosome presents "twotoonsday"! Two toothless toucans in tutus. Two twenty-two twenty-two times two ... too!

Everything looks so good

'The EU wants to change Pancake Tuesday to Thursday!'

'Spare change.'

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

'I booked a table for one under the name of Narcissus.'

'Give me a hand! There's a Monday on the other side of this door.'

'My bank has introduced a new 'SMS alert' service.'

'I hate Mondays!'

'Ben doesn't know what to do between hunting season and fishing season, so he shot February.'

Let me at him! The nerve! Open the door! Monday. Frank, it's Monday --- He must've heard the things you said about him!

"What do you mean, 'Today's Wednesday?!' I thought today was 'Throwback Thursday!'"

I'm sorry, Mr. Fusco, but we seem to have lost your new x-ray. However, I just posted an x-ray of yours from 10 years ago on Facebook for "Throwback Thursday."

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

Excuses why you forgot to buy her a Valentine's gift - $50

"I'm looking at your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"

Dog with tongue hanging out window.

Sam has his own version of throwback Thursday

"Steamed kale is best with something tasty sprinkled on top. Like a large pepperoni pizza."

"I'm bulking up for the start of my next big diet."