Fat Tuesday Gifts

Is that pancake ready yet?

Drinking hurricanes in New Orleans

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

The Nihilist Deli.

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

Just Because it's Tuesday

February

The invisible man makes a pancake

"Tuesday mornings don't get enough respect. They should be hated just as much as Monday mornings."

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

'Breaking news, an E.U. directive is moving pancake Tuesday to Thursday...'

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

"Do you ever get that 'Monday morning' feeling?"

'The EU wants to change Pancake Tuesday to Thursday!'

'Spare change.'

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

'I booked a table for one under the name of Narcissus.'

'Give me a hand! There's a Monday on the other side of this door.'

'My bank has introduced a new 'SMS alert' service.'

'I hate Mondays!'

'Ben doesn't know what to do between hunting season and fishing season, so he shot February.'

"I'm really good at diets, this is my 50th!"

Excuses why you forgot to buy her a Valentine's gift - $50

"I'm looking at your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"

Dog with tongue hanging out window.

Sam has his own version of throwback Thursday

"Steamed kale is best with something tasty sprinkled on top. Like a large pepperoni pizza."

"I'm bulking up for the start of my next big diet."