Fastener Fanatic T-Shirts

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Bob’s Museum

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'I like the frame.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

...they can't take the factory out of the man - he's off to do some welding.

A man swinging upside down by his legs on a scaffolding frame.

Screw plastic surgeon.

"I told you all this would be yours someday, son, and today is that day."

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'