Fastball Fanatic Pillows

'It slipped... Next!!'

95mph fastball.

"I sense a certain ambivalent bounce in your pitches...and it makes me feel vulnerable."

"For a fastball pitcher press #1..."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Alternative fielding positions

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

'Here we go again...'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

A Little Long Jumper.

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

"Love means I narrowly chose you over a bunch of cats."

Fido and Fifi

High Jump

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'You mean you don't have a bowling alley on board? And you call yourself a cruise ship?'

Violinist welcomed by cats

'Let go of the pole!'

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

"He left behind a wife, three kids, and the number one rated fantasy football quarterback."

Long jumper in mid air realizing there is a kid burying his dad in the sand like at the beach,

'What are YOU doing here?'

Kangaroo in a hurry.

The short pitched ball, and how to handle it

"I think it was Shakespeare who said 'A meadow that isn't just as lovely from the window of a bullet train isn't lovely at all.'"

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

Midnight in Minnesota