"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."
Fast Food Philosopher Gifts
Looking for a gift that combines wit, humor, and a love for fast food with a philosophical twist? Our collection celebrates the playful side of pondering life’s big questions over a burger or fries. Perfect for anyone who appreciates a clever joke paired with their favorite snack—whether they’re a foodie, a deep thinker, or both. These thoughtful and funny products will inspire smiles and spark conversations at every meal.
Stratigraphy
A small but significant step in the spiritual journey of a french fry: 'I am not junk!'
'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'
"You've exceeded the FSA daily recommended salt intake."
'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'
"Because it sounded better than chicken slurry with dded sugar and hydroxic acid."
'Stick to this diet for awhile -- you're not strong enough for health food yet.'
'Hysteria, eh? - Have you been eating a lot of happyfood meals?'
'No Dad, that is NOT healthy fast food!'
"Damned times smells of rotisserie chicken again!"
Despite the long weeks designing and making his new costume, Death wasn't sure dressing up as a giant burger was striking quite the right note.
'More specifically I have a fear of clowns that own fast food franchises.'
Actually Didn't Want Fries With That
'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'
American Society of Drive-Thru Window Attendants.
'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'
Hamburger Inspector
"Shhh, he's probably contemplating the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe."
"Can it still be fast food if the service is slow?"
"Is it okay when I say HAVE A NICE DAY what I mean is DROP DEAD?"
"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"
"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"
"One order loaves and fishes. Would you like fries with that?"
Back to Work
Before burgers mattered
'We brought them back from the brink of extinction for THIS?'
"Don't worry, the first 30 years of contracting for fast food restaurants are the hardest."
Lunch hour in the pundit district: Everyday Specials. . . simplistic economic theories.
'That one looks like a cream cake...That one looks like a Big Mac...'
'Would you like fries with that?'
'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'
All people do is eat.
I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.
"What's the latest on McDonald's influence on the Louvre and French culture?"
Fast Food Philosopher Gifts Collection
Fast Food Philosopher Mugs
Explore our collection of fast food philosopher mugs—perfect for serving up coffee with a side of wit and wisdom.
Fast Food Philosopher Pillows
Snuggle with humor using our fast food philosopher pillows—playful designs that add personality to any space.
Fast Food Philosopher Prints
Brighten their walls with our fast food philosopher prints—fun, witty artwork that adds a playful touch of enlightenment.
Fast Food Philosopher T-Shirts
Check out our fun and clever fast food philosopher t-shirts—great for making a statement and sparking conversations.