Fast Action Critic Gifts

"I still think badminton is as fast as tennis..."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"I could do that."

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

Pop up begger.

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"I still liked it better when it was the Colosseum."

"I think the banana looks like a mustache, or a weird smile or something. How about an apple? ... Just a suggestion."

"Apparently my writing is so bad I've been rejected by a gene editor. She said she could see the lack of talent in my DNA."

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because you're my husband - it stinks."

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.

"His painting is actually better than it looks..."

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"