Fashionista With Flair Pillows

Ask me about my thick neck.

Winter Coat

'Fancy ruining that lovely blonde hair by dyeing the roots black!'

'He's having a bad feather day.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Do you have anything with a wider mirror?

Posh store has sign: When Flaunting Is Not Enough.

Clothing for Big Boned Women.

"You can travel in the cabin, sir, but your trousers will have to go in the hold."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

Carioca

The Dandy

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Bernice Mountain Dog

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

"I don’t know, honey – sort of makes you look like a blockhead."

Crocodile Shoes

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

Geri Halliwell.

Elton John

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

Naked Furniture

Australian punk

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

Jane found she just couldn't handle the fast-paced life of a runway model

"Look what I found, this beautiful Christmas poncho. Isn't it festive?!"