Fashionista On Vacation Gifts

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"Better lose the hat people are staring."

'They're pinching my toes!'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Woman reading: 'How to look hot on the beach this summer.'

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

Pizza London Eye

'He's having a bad feather day.'

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

The Emperor's New Speedo

"Well, here comes shorts weather."

Winter Coat

Dave Spent the Weekend Camping

Summer

'I'm tired of them laughing at our rear ends. It's like we have a genetic wardrobe malfunction.'

Summer fashions.

"It must be a fur tree."

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

'Don't be a fool, John! They'll kill you. Give them what they want - you can always buy another hat.'

'Going as a high-thread-count ghost again this year.'

'Please, Senora, no stiletto heels.'

Hugo Boss is Planning a Vegan Suit!

Dog luggage.

'I stay out of the sun and use a fan: That way, I don't need to roll in the mud to keep cool...'

Multitasking.

Ask me about my thick neck.

'See, I just unzip my polar fleece when it's really hot.'

"Let me remind you all of the policy against dressing provocatively, and yes, we're referring to what you wore last Tuesday, Don."

'I shouldn't have worn socks.'

Posh store has sign: When Flaunting Is Not Enough.

Do you have anything with a wider mirror?

'Do you have to dress for success ALL the time?'