Fashion-forward Innovator Gifts

The Great March of Timepiece Progress

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Old hippie gives peace sign.

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'She dressed herself this morning.'

"Like my new haircut?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Do you like my bling?

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

Chippunks

"Nice. Got this in camo?"

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

Social Struggles

'Now don't complain Mum: You started it by giving me my first nose-ring...'

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

Snake Dress-Up

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

"How much more for pinstripes?"

"Would you believe I can still fit into my tux after eighteen years?"

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

"My dad said they used to be bands."

A Revolution In Formal Wear! The Cummertie in Four Classic Styles!