Fashion-forward Home Decorator Gifts

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Moving in

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

Man and woman buying furniture.

Two portraits kissing each other

Tedious Romantic.

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"