Fashion-forward Couple Pillows

"We look better in winter."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

Rap music

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

"We have the exact same taste."

"I don't like your application."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"I’ll tell ya who’s got a ‘dark side’: my cat, that’s who. You should see what she did to my Manolo Blahnik pumps!"

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Overkill, dude."

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

Beware of Dawg.

A woman in prayer

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

Rainbow skier

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

"How am I looking for my first day back at work?"

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

'Is that a wig?'