Fashion-forward Cook Pillows

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Beanirrito"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

Prosecco Drinker

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

Salad Hat

Fried Egg

"It may very well be America's favorite comfort food, but nobody is gonna buy a grilled cheese poncho."

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

Avacados

Pork Pie Hat

'Waiter - This salad isn't appropriately dressed!'

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"

"The free-range chicken with little shoes by Reebok."

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

French-America Cuisine: Corn Flake Flambe!

"Dinner comes complete with coffee and your choice of dessert or an oil painting."

"It's fast-casual."

"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."

"How can we afford to eat at a place where the doggie bags are Gucci?"

"I eat here all the time so I can be a regular."

'I was going to send back this dreadful wine - but then I realized it's the perfect match for your dreadful chicken.'