Fashion-forward Eater Pillows

"I was afraid of GMO foods until I learned they're the designer versions."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Beanirrito"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Spanx Tells Me No

Salad Hat

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

Prosecco Drinker

"What's trending?"

Fried Egg

Pizza Shard

Popeye Switches to Kale.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"It may very well be America's favorite comfort food, but nobody is gonna buy a grilled cheese poncho."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

Pork Pie Hat

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

'Is it okay to drink red wine in brown shoes?'

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

Woman dressed as a soup can

Faddy, fussy and pernickety eating. It's strictly the preserve of those without kids.

'Waiter - This salad isn't appropriately dressed!'

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

"I wonder if you folks are aware that black cod is this year's Chilean sea bass?"