Fashion-forward Academic Gifts

'The text for this course is available at the college bookstore and on iTunes in a choice of designer colors...avocado, sienna, peach, indigo, Mediterranean, and sunburst.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Rap music

"I don't like your application."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Social Struggles

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

Rainbow skier

The Bland Leading the Bland

'...but since no fossils of dinosaur clothing have yet been found, what you see here is mostly speculation.'

Chippunks

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"How much more for pinstripes?"

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

'Is that a wig?'

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

"How am I looking for my first day back at work?"

'I imagine you're interested in one of the more highly visible occupations?'

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

Smart meter. Smarter meter

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

Got anything for the small investor?

'Gus! Get over here and see what our tattoos used to look like!'

Barber Shop in the Coronavirus Age

"Reverend, we need to get you a button-down collar."

"Do you have any questions apart from 'where did I get my jazzy tie'?"

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"