Academic Fashionista Gifts

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

'Nice 'power tie', professor.'

The Style of Elements

Scientists are sexy

Mikado

Little Princess.

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

Tuck Shop

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

"I'm ready for my close-up."

Fashion Nursery School

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

Girl trying to be a woman

"Let's make believe they have to get dressed to go out now because there's a big sale at Bloomingdale's."

Lady in Blue Dress

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

Future Old People

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

"Does it say I'm a Wittgenstein scholar?"

Short Hair: Expectations vs. Reality

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

A School Girl and Teacher.

Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.

"Jeffrey's in futures."

'Ms. Worden, please go to the library stacks and bring me a few education journals from the 70s. It seems everything old is new again.'

What's the key to being a great artist, Al? Is it the beret? Don't be silly, Axel. It's the smock.

"The haircut cost $20. I only had $10 on me."

"Hey girl, why the clown suit?"

"He's still defining his brand."

'It's true. You can go wrong with basic black.'

'You're lucky. Some people don't look good wearing dirt.'

'I'm mainly interested in something that won't show up on teaching evaluations.'

"I thought I'd be a successful fashion blogger by now."

'If it's so good, how come it's not on a T-shirt?'

'I'm going for that scholarly look while I try to quit smoking. They're nicotine patches.'