Fashion Fork In The Road Pillows

"Would you like to see the top on Google Earth?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Born to be Mild.

"You and your daft inventions."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

A Fork-lift.

'I made a good living applying tattoos and a fortune removing them.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Wine Bar, "Am I not the most fashionable lounge lizard about town ?"

'Can we do a quick respray to match her super new outfit?'

Figure 1. Termite queen maternity wear

Tattoo Parlour: 'I brought the pig because I have no space left.'

'If you're a driver who likes it all, take a look at this! Sour cream, onions, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits - this baby's loaded!!!'

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

Dog Tattoo

"It cuts air resistance."

Miss Fennerman prepares to travel home

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

"I am here on behalf of a concerned caller, why are you wearing shorts in winter?"

Author who wants his novel pierced.

'It says white man got a tattoo, in chinese.'

Spoonfest

'The good news it the Biopsy was negative. The better news is my pants stay up like a dream now.'

Man with broken leg using medical scooter sees another man with a broken leg using a biker gang-style chopper medical scooter.

Edward stayed home, biding his time & waiting for the pipe smoking revival.

Sid was regretting having a tattoo...all his mates now call him Popeye!

"You did it, Harold - you got rid of that moustache!"

Hardcore Hikers

"I don't care if you're a food critic - you're not combing back in my restaurant wearing only a sash."

I'd like some nice trendy clothes that actually fit me. Tell me about it!