Fashion Faux-pas Detective Gifts

Are you up to seeing someone with a ponytail?

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

The Return Of The Minipants

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

Hipster Police Department

'After you with the camouflage.'

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

"Nobody told me it was formal."

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Take it. It's the dress code."

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

Fifty Gallon Head.

"You might consider new socks as well."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

"What? I slept seven months."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"You don’t have to buy everything you see on Instagram."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on